I was actually having some trouble finding delicious stupidity on The Internets for this week. Lucky for me, the Internet pulled through at the last moment in the form of a particularly spectacular player in League of Legends. I’ve created a second account to play with my lower level friends, so that my higher level does not bring in higher level players while they are learning. Or at least that’s the idea. In actuality, about half of any given match is players that at best have done what I have done, and plenty that have rerolled with their friends at level 1 to stomp new players into oblivion.
As luck would have it, my “main” champion Morgana is free this week. So there I am on a low level account, playing my preferred champion, which I like to think I’m halfway competent with. Usually when I play Morgana I go mid, and so that’s where I headed at the start.
A brief tangent: for those not familiar with LoL, there are three pathways by which you can attack the enemy base. With five players per team, the accepted method of splitting is to put two champions in each of the top and bottom lanes, and the fifth in the middle or ‘mid’. While technically any champion can go in any lane, there are a group of champions which by the nature of their abilities have an edge in mid. Mid is also the most crucial lane to control, as it represents the shortest route to the enemy base. Combined with the self-reliant nature of defending mid, the base skill level to succeed is somewhat higher than in the top and bottom lanes, and for those reasons teams usually want the most skilled member of the appropriate champions to take mid. Alright, tangent over, back to the story!
So, at the start of this game a pugger claimed mid while I was on my way there. Naturally distrustful of puggers, especially at low levels, I told him I would relinquish mid if he could convince me he was competent. He began by telling me he was level 30, and that being his first fact should have clued me in to how this was going to end. Alas, it did not. He also told me he was playing with friends which, while usually helpful, again is not by itself proof of one’s competence and thus I remained unconvinced. Pressed for more information, he told me that he was ranked, with a ranking of 1500. Knowing nothing of how the rankings in LoL work and assuming anyone that was brave enough to try them must be at least decent, I conceded.
As the match progressed, this individual quickly illustrated that he was none too skilled. Dying repeatedly, letting turrets be taken, getting his teammates killed, etc. He just as quickly started to blame the two people on the team that were not his friends for all of it, namely me and my friend. Always know for my patents with pugs, I noted that he was an unskilled player blaming others for his failures. He responded with claims about kill/death scores (convenient I just talked about this innit?), claims that we were simply not assisting him (we were, and dying because of it), and the like. At this point, none too endeared by his blaming of others and abuse of my friend who was busy trying to learn the game, and began to simply mock him.
For some reason, at the same time I had decided I was done having a reasonable conversation with him he decided that he needed to try to prove his superiority. This came in the form of making specific claims about how to play our classes. It went something like this:
- “Morgana is a hard carry.” She’s not. At best, she can be a soft carry.
- “Morgana is a nuker.” Again true only with certain, generally inferior build.
- “You do more damage than I do.” Even if I had built for damage, Ezreal is superior in every way for damage dealing.
- “Morgana has only one support ability.” This is where I lost it. Morgana has three, arguably four (that’s all your abilities, for those keeping score) support abilities. It’s pretty much all a well played Morgana does.
So there you have it. Surprise, being max level does not mean you’re any good at a game. It just makes it all the more laughably pathetic when you’re so very wrong. I looked up the rankings after the match: a 1500 rating doesn’t even put you near the top 1000, likely not in the top 2000 (I got bored 47 pages in and gave up). Good game sir, and thank you for keeping stupidity alive on the Internet.